


Desire-white

by BlackAngelis



Series: Ice and Fire [2]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dark Sansa Stark, F/F, Fire, Ice, Infanticide, Jealousy, Madness, Murder, Passion, burning love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:55:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22754359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackAngelis/pseuds/BlackAngelis
Summary: Ice burns hotter than fire.
Relationships: Sansa Stark/Daenerys Targaryen
Series: Ice and Fire [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778803
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	Desire-white

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This story is a translation of my fanfiction "Blanc désir" written in French, I apologize for the mistakes I may have made.

Fire can have white shades.  
  
That's the first thing Sansa thinks when she sees that white queen through her bedroom window, her prison, that princess with snowy hair and eyes of fire, _come, come and save me_ , she wants to scream.  
  
She sees the dragon and watching him fly towards the Red Keep kindles embers in her mind, it ignites the frost in her eyes, fire burns hotter than ice, the ice that has covered her heart for so many years.  
  
Sansa barricades herself in her room and waits, a slight smile on her lips.  
  
  
.  
  
  
  
Joffrey is afraid.  
  
He's kneeling before the white queen and he's trembling and Sansa wants to scream with joy, _yes, tremble, tremble, my king, you will see what fire and blood are, nothing will save you this time_.  
  
"Joffrey Baratheon," she says in a loud voice. "I, Daenerys Targaryen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, sentence you to death. »  
  
He is a monster, a monster who killed his own mother when he found out who his real father was before killing him too, a monster who killed his brother and sister, Sansa saw their corpses, Myrcella was so beautiful, she wore that pretty white dress that Sansa loved so much, but the white of the cloth was stained with her red blood, and Tommen, so fragile, so innocent, he didn't even have time to scream. He killed his uncle and Sansa cried a lot, Tyrion was so nice to her, and finally he killed his grandfather when he dared to oppose him, Sansa didn't like him but when his head rolled in the dust she understood that it would be even more terrible, it was anger-black and madness-yellow.  
  
The dragon opens his mouth and she bursts out laughing, she is free, she is free, and her eyes cross the white queen's, hope-blue and freedom-purple meet and it's beautiful, it's so beautiful.  
  
"Thank you," says Sansa as she contemplates what's left of Joffrey. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you..."  
  
  
.

  
  
The white queen came with her king, and Sansa sees Jon again for the first time in all these years, it's odd, seeing another wolf again, but Sansa isn't really a wolf any more, now, Joffrey the lion-deer has seen to that. Daenerys understands and smiles at her, she takes her hand and brings her before Drogon, and she's not even afraid, he's not a monster, he's a savior, he set her free, the real monster is dead.  
  
"He won't hurt you," Daenerys says and Sansa believes her because when she looks deep inside her eyes, it's courage-black and justice-red, it's a better world, a world where she is free, a world in the colors of the Targaryens.  
  
She puts one hand on the scales of the dragon and she shivers with excitement.  
  
"I think he likes you," the white queen laughs, and that laugh, that laugh is all Sansa wants, the laugh of a conqueror and a breaker of chains.  
  
"I like him too," Sansa smiles.  
  
  
.  
  
  
Fire burns hotter than ice.  
  
The arrival of the white queen has put an end to winter, sadness-white and despair-grey are leaving, it's over, now it will be sunshine-yellow and forest-green.  
  
"I want you to be at my side on my coronation day," Daenerys says to her, squeezing her hand.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes. I'd be honored."  
  
Her cheeks are on fire, it's embarassment-red and pleasure-pink and she nods, of course, anything to honor the white queen.  
  
It's a beautiful ceremony and Sansa tries not to think too much about all the times she has been beaten in front of this Throne, it's over, now fire burns hotter than ice, hotter than those years of icy solitude. She's proud, so proud to be by her savior's side, so proud that she doesn't even see Jon on the other side, but when, later, Daenerys leaves the Throne Room on his arm, it feels strange, it's disappointment-black and abandonment-red.  
  
Daenerys and Aegon Targaryen, she thinks, and it hurts her, she's Sansa Stark, a she-wolf among dragons, and it's unfair, so unfair, she too would like to fly away, tickle the clouds and caress the stars but she'll have to remain a little bird with broken wings.  
  
She takes refuge in her room and cries out all her sadness, it's loneliness-blue and inaccessible-purple.  
  


.

Ice can have red shades after all.

Daenerys sees her wither away and she doesn't understand, she wants to understand, she even takes her in her arms to comfort her.

"What's wrong, Sansa?"

"I'd like to fly, fly like a bird."

The white queen smiles, diamonds sparkle in her eyes, it's kindness-lilac , valour-mauve and daring-amethyst.

"Would you like to be a dragon?"

So she takes her with her on the back of Drogon, where Jon usually sits, and then Sansa thinks, _I'm like you, now I'm a free princess, free thanks to you_. She wraps her slender arms around Daenerys's waist and she feels good as they fly over the city, this is where she belongs.

"Thank you, thank you... " she repeats again.

Daenerys turns and smiles at her, her heart leaps in her chest, it's affection-red and gratitude-white.

 _The white queen and the red princess_ , she thinks as she looks at her own hair.

.

Ice burns as hot as fire.

The ice bruises her heart again as she watches Jon kissing Daenerys, it's the white queen and the black prince but it's not right, they're false notes, out of tune shades, she closes her eyes and sees the white queen and the red princess.

She's dying to feel Daenerys's eyes on her, to feel her arms around her waist, and then one day she starts dying to feel her lips on hers.

Her snowy hair, her eyes of fire, her lips, her body, her skin, everything, everything - desire consumes her, now it's desire-white and temptation-red.

.

Sansa seeks the company of the white queen, she sits next to her during dinner, she admires her when she is on the Iron Throne, she accompanies her on her walks through the gardens, but it's not enough, not enough, she wants more.

"Is everything all right, Sansa?" she asks her one day when she catches her staring at Jon.

"Everything's fine," she assures her.

She can't tell her, not yet, but it doesn't matter, she'll tell her one day, she'll be her princess, it'll be love-red and passion-white.

.

"You have such beautiful hair," Daenerys tells her.

She runs a hesitant hand through her red curls and it is an explosion, it's all the colors and none at once, it's ivory-red and crimson-white, it only exists in her dreams, her dreams in gold-purple, silver-blue and garnet-black.

"Not as beautiful as yours," Sansa replies.

She reaches out her hand to the golden-silver hair.

"May I?"

The white queen nods and the red princess touches the silky hair, it's soft, it's a free world and rivers of fire, it's what Sansa wants most in the world.

"Your skin is soft," Daenerys whispers, and there's something different in her eyes.

.

Jealousy gnaws at her from the inside, it's almost worse than Joffrey and his blows, his threats, his humiliations, the monster was someone else, now she's the monster. At night she dreams of the back prince's lifeless body, she dreams that she consoles the white queen, she, the red princess, and then she dreams of becoming her red queen.

She wakes up sweaty, trembling with desire, it's fiery-red, fiery-orange, fiery-yellow, it burns and it haunts her.

It's too hard to contain it, it burns too hot, so she embraces Daenerys more often, takes her hand whenever she can, lets her lips trail on her cheek.

The white queen's cheeks turn red, it's not just embarrassment-red, Sansa knows, they'll be together soon.

.

Daenerys sends Jon on a diplomatic trip to the Westerlands and Sansa thinks this is her chance, fate has brought her her savior, her white queen on her beautiful dragon, she makes her feel free, she is no longer a frightened wolf, she feels like she is turning into a dragon, she's becoming Sansa Targaryen.

Sansa pins her against a wall and throws herself on her lips, and it's so good, desire-white and temptation-red, it's a liberation, and Daenerys responds to her kiss and then it becomes explosion-red and explosion-white.

"Sansa- " says Daenerys, out of breath.

"I love you. I love you so much."

Sansa kisses her again, she wants her, she wants her like she's never wanted anyone else, they are meant to be together, but Daenerys gently pushes her away and in her heart everything becomes snow-black and ice-grey.

"Sansa, we can't-"

"I know you feel something for me. I know you do."

"Sansa..."

Then she kisses her again, in her neck, behind her ear, on her forehead, and the white queen moans, yes, she wants her too.

"I can't do that to Jon," says Daenerys. "He's a good man."

"He doesn't need to know," Sansa insists.

She can't push her away, she can't, or she'll die.

.

Ice burns hotter than fire.

The white queen gave in, it was desire-white and temptation-red, it becomes caress-red and pleasure-white. Sansa has never felt better, this is where she belongs, now she's Sansa Targaryen, the red princess serving her queen.

Daenerys sees the scars on her skin and touches them with her fingertips.

"Joffrey?"

Sansa nods.

"Did he ever..."

"...rape me?"

She shakes her head, oh, he didn't, she would have died if he had.

"He didn't touch me again after our wedding night. He didn't care... he had other ways of hurting me. »

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... if I'd gotten here sooner..."

"You saved me," Sansa says, her eyes shining, it's admiration-blue and certainly not disappointment-blue. "My white queen. I love you so much."

.

When Jon comes back and everything starts all over again, she sees them kissing, and in her eyes everything turns anger-white and murder-blue, Daenerys is hers, her savior, her queen, she shouldn't have to share, it's not fair.

Sansa steals a kiss from her white queen whenever she can and slips into her bed at the first opportunity but it's not enough, she wants more, in her head she sees banners with a wolf and a dragon, it's winter-red and blood-grey, it's two queens ruling the Seven Kingdoms. The black prince has no place in this fantasy, it's threat-black and enemy-grey.

"I want us to be together," Sansa says to Daenerys. "I don't want to hide any more."

Daenerys smiles sadly, it's resignation-purple against determination-blue.

"Jon is a good man," she repeats. "He doesn't deserve to suffer."

 _I'm suffering too_ , Sansa wants to answer. _I love you so much, you're burning my heart, but ice can burn too_.

.

When Sansa looks at Daenerys that morning, it's suffering-purple and mourning-white.

"I don't understand," she keeps saying, looking at Jon's lifeless body lying in the Throne Room. "He was fine yesterday... how could this happen? Oh, Sansa..."

Her queen runs into his arms, she seeks comfort-blue and consolation-red, so Sansa gives them to her, a slight smile on her lips.

Last night, it was three poison-white drops in Jon's glass, and then it was congealing-red blood and dark-brown eyes. He didn't suffer, she made sure of that.

"I'm sorry," she whispers to Daenerys. "I'm here. I won't let you down."

Her white queen is hers, she doesn't have to share any more.

.

She was wrong, it's no longer just the white queen and the red princess, there's something else, one month, two months, three months, it's absent-red and it turns to hope-black when Daenerys looks at her belly.

Sansa wants to scream, they were finally together with nothing on their way, it was happiness-blue and victory-red, why does the black prince have to come back to haunt them?

She tries to convince herself that it's not so bad, her savior will always love her because she knows that no one can love her as much as she does, but she's wrong again, she knows it when it's birth-red and howling-pink, it's the white queen and the black prince again and it's ten times, a hundred times, a thousand times stronger.

"Jon," Daenerys says as she holds her son in her arms. "My little Jon."

She gives him to Sansa and she immediately hates him, this pink and wailing thing, her heart is ice-red and her eyes are snow-blue, it burns, it burns hotter than fire.

.

What binds them is desire-white, it can't be completely erased, but the eyes of fire turn to this child, now, this thief of love, and it's killing her, Sansa is dying inside.

"Don't you love me any more?" she aks.

It's like what happened with Joffrey, it starts all over again, she has loved and she is abandoned, everything turns abandonment-black and desolation-grey.

"Don't be ridiculous," Daenerys replies. "Jon is my son, it's different."

But Sansa doesn't understand, she doesn't want to understand, her queen is escaping from her, another one is stealing her, she will fly away on her dragon with him and she will leave her, the frightened wolf, she will abandon her.

No, it won't be like that, she will be Sansa Targaryen, she will be at her white queen's side, her future will be in royal-red and crown-white.

.

Jon is a beautiful baby, she has to admit it. He looks just like his father, he's nothing like Daenerys and it comforts her in her choice. He won't be able to understand her, no one can understand her like her, no one will love her like her, the princess trapped by a monster. Daenerys freed her and now it's her turn to do so. She walks away from the cradle and comes near the windows, summer has come to an end, the heat is long gone. She opens all the windows, an icy wind rushes into the room, and Sansa smiles. It's storm-grey and night-black, it's ice-red and freedom-blue.

He won't suffer, like his father before him, and her white queen will be hers forever.

.

She sees Daenerys's eyes at dawn and it's terrible, there's so much suffering, the white queen sees the world without colors now, but when Sansa looks at her, it becomes accusation-white and hatred-purple.

"Was it you?"

"What?"

"Did you do this?"

She knows, Sansa knows that she knows, but she can't nod, she can't, if she does, her white queen will hate her.

"It wasn't me, I assure you."

There's too much sadness in Daenerys, she looks away and holds her dead baby against her chest.

The dragon in Sansa roars, it's still victory-red, she has freed Daenerys the way she freed her, they are free, now, free to be together.

.

"I know it was you."

Daenerys pushed her away as she tried to steal a kiss from her.

"What?"

"There's no need to lie. It was you, you killed my baby."

Sansa's heart breaks, twists and shatters, victory-red turns to blood-red, it's not possible, it's not the way it was meant to be.

"Jon... it was you too, wasn't it? You were so jealous."

She bursts out laughing without joy.

"You have no proof," Sansa whispers but she shouldn't have, what she sees in Daenerys's eyes frightens her, it's anger-black and madness-yellow again, like with Joffrey.

"Don't you ever come near me again."

.

Sansa spends her days in affliction-blue and disillusionment-red, now she's locked in her room, like when Joffrey was alive but it's useless to look out the window, no savior will come this time. All she can think about is her white queen, she'll never be happy again, her queen needs her, no one will ever love her again.

The white queen has become a ghost, a ghost haunting the corridors and moaning in pain, desire-white is gone, now it's disenchantment-white. The red princess hears her, at night, and it's powerlessness-red. She must save her queen from her pain, she must, and she will die for it.

Ice burns hotter than fire. She's the only one who can do it.

So it's like what happened with Jon, it's three drops of poison-white, and Daenerys doesn't notice anything, she doesn't see white, she doesn't see any color, and she drinks her glass in one gulp.

She gets up and staggers. She doesn't go far, she collapses. Sansa sinks to her knees.

"I love you so much... we'll be together soon."

The eyes of fire turn darkness-purple so Sansa chooses poison-white. She kisses her white queen one last time.

.

It was desire-white, temptation-red, pleasure-white, passion-red, and now it's nothingness-black.


End file.
